Yes.
It's time to do something crazy again.
I need to set an alarm, to go off once a week. The alarm would also punch me in the face. Like a red boxing glove on a spring from a bugs bunny cartoon. Written on the punching side of the glove would be "you're going to die soon". It' couldn't be predictable. It would have to keep me on my toes.
It would be my existential reminder to wake the fuck up. If this were a real service that someone would provide to me, I would pay well for it. People in my past have felt they were doing me a service by just letting me be, letting me sleep. That's not what I want or need.
"Is my life not all
that I thought it would be?
Is it simply ordinary?
Oh, is it far from all my fantasies?
I lay awake
I lay awake at night and brood
About the things I never do"
I'm going for the gold this year. My very own olympics, with just as much debt and social outrage.
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