The facts* on Octopuses. (*not really factual)

Cephalopod intelligence has an important comparative aspect in our understanding of intelligence, because it relies on a nervous system fundamentally different from that of vertebrates. I'm saying that squids, octopi and other tenticle-y or slug-like creatures are not like us because they have no spine. This is probably important when we talk about how smart they are because they are kinda like aliens compared to us. Don't even get me started on squid sex and slug foreplay. There is a lot we don't understand about our squid friends and for some reasons, outlined here, I think they are the coolest and most elusive aminals, like, EVR.

Go back to the days where giant squids were known for demolishing galleons and schooners. Now we perhaps have had a resurfacing of squid-lore by the scenes of Crakkens in our movies. I find it cool-looking I suppose, but doubtful that these giantest of octopuses would be such violent beasts. In fact (actually it's not a fact) the bigger the cephalopod, the smarter it may be.

First off, these folks have no brains. Rather, no central nervous system to compare to our own. It's instead, strewn throughout their bodies. Therefore, there are more direct links between the giantness of the squid and geniousness of the squid. Octopuses have been conditioned, practice observational learning, and have spacial intellegence. None of this is proven and I find it a little hard to believe that squids know much about space. Unless they are aliens that came from space.

But what the fuck do we KNOW about these things?! Well, gentle and concerned reader, they steal whatever they find in lobster traps. There's like a child-lock on those things and well this clearly proves that they are smarter than children. They also have been known to steal food from fisherman's boats. Sneaky, and not afraid to climb out of the water.

They have very dexterous arms and suckers that are in some cases, as good as a human hand. Like us operating a locking mechanism. Except they can operate 8 of them. If you have one of those jars that you just cant get that fucking lid off, like, you tried the elastic band thing and the hot water thing and the guy with big forearms thing, chances are, a squid could do it. They're also strong like Hulk.

Cuttlefish are known for changing their colours as not just a form of camouflage but as a means of communicating with each other. More than that, they communicate with the squid on their left, with the left side of their body, and the squid on their right, with the right side of their body. AT THE SAME TIME. Though not all squids exhibit all of these traits, I hope one day they do and will read this blog and give me a painless death.

If you must eat animals, please stick to the dumber ones like dogs, cats, or monkeys.

The Unicorn

Infamous for many things, but named after only one

the unicorn always orders a soft serve ice cream

sticks it to his forehead

and walks around the restaurant

till it melts and slides away

Sometimes the melting takes a few seconds, but

other times you see him sitting

with cream running down his face

proud cone still intact.

I need one of these for my LIFE. please. thanks.

-Lately I've been feeling that my move across this continent has really just been a slingshot maneuver to sling me back to Ontario. Somehow, it's what I needed to gain some momentum.

- I looked at apartments in Toronto and found a few that would be ideal. Somewhere between "Yup, probably a roach problem" and "Ballin!". I miss friends there and can't seem to get around it. I'm not sure if it's a negative thing that I can't get over missing old friends, or if it's positive that I've found friends worth missing. I've never put it in context like that until just right now actually, and choose to see it in the positive way.